Arrrrgh! Slimosaur! Read online

  ‘Hubba, take off your skins,’ he ordered.

  Hubba blinked at him. ‘Eh?’

  ‘Your skins, quickly, I need them!’

  ‘I’m wearing ’em!’ protested Hubba. ‘There’s girls watching!’

  Umily rolled her eyes. ‘Just do what he says!’

  The slimosaur’s head loomed into view over the hill. Next came its short stubby arms and its not so stubby body. It lumbered towards them, snarling and drooling. Iggy and Hubba darted behind a boulder and hurriedly stripped off the skins they were wearing. Umily stood her ground and picked up a rock. With all her strength, she hurled it at the beast’s head, striking it a lucky blow on the snout. The slimosaur bellowed with rage.

  ‘ROOOOARRRRRGHHHH!’

  ‘Uh-oh,’ muttered Umily. She scoured the ground for more ammunition, but there were no more rocks. She backed towards the cliff edge.

  ‘Iggy!’ she wailed. ‘Hurry up!’

  The slimosaur scented a three-course dinner. Umily could see rows of jagged teeth in its mouth. Drool dripped from its jaws and she knew a second wave of slime was on the way.

  ‘Don’t look!’ cried Iggy, suddenly appearing with Hubba. Umily just had time to register that he was naked apart from something tied round his chest and dragging behind him like a cloak. Iggy pressed a piece of the net into her hand. ‘Tie this round yourself. And whatever you do, hold on!’

  The slimosaur advanced, crouching with its claws poised to strike. Iggy took another step back, till he was teetering on the edge of the cliff. Hubba had his eyes shut, partly from terror and partly because he was naked and holding hands with a girl.

  Iggy looked up at the slimosaur and goaded him. ‘Come on, then, Slobberchops! Do it!’

  As the slimosaur leapt at them, Iggy, Hubba and Umily dropped over the edge into pitch black darkness.

  ARGHHHHHHHHH! . . .

  Iggy felt the air rush past and his head spun. The thought came to him that tomorrow, or the day after, his parents would find his naked body. At least he didn’t have to worry that Umily would see it, because she would be dead too.

  . . . ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  Something huge and green hurtled past them in a hail of stones and a second later there was a deafening crunch. Almost at the same instant, Iggy felt a sharp tug on his shoulders. Above him he heard a loud FLUMP! as the skins opened out exactly like a parachute. Dangling below him were Umily and Hubba, hanging on to the net and looking up in bug-eyed astonishment.

  A moment later Hubba floated gracefully to earth like a leaf – just before Umily and Iggy landed on top of him in an untidy heap.

  ‘Arghhh! Oww! Get off!’ There was a messy struggle as they untangled themselves and tunnelled their way out from under the skins.

  Iggy stood up. The first thing he noticed was the slimosaur. Having the body of a giant but the brain of a pea, it had charged straight over the cliff, landing with such a thud that people in the Valley of Urk thought the Spirits of the Ancestors had fallen out of bed. The lifeless beast was now lying face down in a hole the size of a swimming pool.

  Hubba grabbed Iggy by the shoulders. ‘You did it, Iggy! We flied!’

  ‘I never thought it would work!’ grinned Iggy. ‘It must be like dandelions . . .’

  ‘Who cares?’ yelled Hubba, who wasn’t in the mood for a science lesson. ‘We’re alive! We killed the slimosaur! Wait till they hear this!’

  ‘Um, didn’t you forget something?’

  It was Umily who spoke. She had one hand over her eyes. Iggy and Hubba looked at her, puzzled, then looked down at their feet as it dawned on them. They weren’t wearing anything at all.

  ‘ARGHHHHHHH!’

  x

  Chapter 11

  Heads, You Lose

  Chief Hammerhead was roused from a deep sleep by someone shaking him by the shoulder.

  ‘W-what?’ he mumbled.

  ‘Hammy, wake up, you big lump!’ said a voice.

  A hand grabbed his leg, trying to drag him out from under his furs. He put up strong resistance.

  ‘Leave me ’lone!’

  ‘Get up, Hammy! They’re back!’ said Iggy’s dad. ‘And they got Umily!’

  Hammerhead buried his head under his furs. ‘Umily’s dead!’ he moaned. ‘Dead! Dead! And all my fault!’

  ‘She’s not dead, you dunghill!’ cried Iggy’s dad. ‘I just seen her.’

  ‘Umily?’

  ‘That’s what I’m telling you! She’s outside. Come and see for yourself!’

  Hammerhead wrapped his furs around him, and emerged from his cave, blinking in the early-morning light. He pushed his way through the large crowd that had gathered on the hillside. Coming up the slope, he could see Iggy and Hubba, dragging something heavy behind them. Beside them walked a girl with green hair sticking up like a spiky hedgehog. Hammerhead would have known his daughter anywhere. He rushed down to meet her.

  There were tears and hugs and more tears – mostly from the Chief. The Urks crowded round to listen as Iggy recounted their adventures – how they had tracked the slimosaur to its lair and rescued Umily (missing out the part about jumping off a cliff stark naked).

  ‘But what about the slimosaur?’ asked Hammerhead, when Iggy paused for breath.

  ‘Oh, I nearly forgot,’ said Iggy. ‘Hubba, give me a hand.’

  They dragged the net over and tipped it up. Out rolled the scaly head of the slimosaur and landed at the Chief’s feet.

  ‘Blood and thunder!’ cried Hammerhead. ‘You killed it?’

  ‘Well, not by myself,’ said Iggy. ‘We did it together.’

  ‘But Iggy saved our lives,’ said Umily.

  ‘You fought it off,’ said Iggy. ‘You were braver than me.’

  ‘No, I weren’t.’

  ‘Yes, you were.’

  ‘Oh, for Urk’s sake!’ groaned Hubba. If this carried on, they’d soon be holding hands.

  .

  That evening the Urks held the greatest feast in living memory, a feast that went on long into the night with drumming, dancing and large helpings of roast slimosaur for everyone. But before the feasting began, there was another event. Iggy’s boulderball team, the Elks, challenged the Rhinos to a rematch.

  .

  The tribe gathered on the hill eager to see if the tribal champions could be beaten. Once again Iggy went forward for the toss of the lizard and watched it spin in the air. This time, however, it didn’t hit the mud because he reached out a hand and caught it.

  ‘Call,’ he said. ‘Heads or tails?’

  ‘That’s not fair!’ grumbled Snark. ‘I can’t see it!’

  ‘Then you won’t be able to cheat. Heads or tails?’ repeated Iggy.

  Snark looked at his dad sulkily. ‘Heads,’ he said. ‘No, tails! Heads! Tails . . . HEADS!’

  ‘Sure now?’ said Iggy. ‘Don’t want to change your mind?’

  Snark shook his head. He knew when someone was trying to trick him. Iggy removed his top hand. The lizard lay struggling on its back.

  ‘Sorry, it’s tails.’ Iggy grinned. ‘We get the slope.’

  x

  The two teams took up their positions at opposite ends of the hill. Iggy glanced at his team: Hubba beside him, Fleabit looking nervous, and Umily, their newest recruit, with her hair knotted in a bone.

  ‘Remember what we said?’ asked Iggy.

  They all nodded.

  BAWOOOM!

  The horn sounded and Snark’s team set off up the slope like a herd of stampeding buffalo. The Elks didn’t move. Iggy and his team-mates stood behind their boneposts, deaf to the shouts urging them forward.

  Sensing their advantage, the Rhinos reached the boulder, a giant hulka. They strained and groaned, sweated and heaved. Finally the
boulder shifted and rolled over. They began inching it slowly up the hill, Snark driving his team on with threats and curses. Step by slow step they covered the slope, getting nearer to their opponents’ goal. Still Iggy didn’t speak or move. His team stood like statues.

  At last the Rhinos reached the top of the hill, only one last push from the posts. They stopped to rest a moment, steaming and panting like carthorses.

  ‘PUSH!’ yelled Snark. ‘One more push!’

  They sweated and grunted, but the boulder refused to budge. It was stuck.

  Hubba looked at Iggy. ‘Now?’

  ‘Now,’ said Iggy.

  They launched themselves at the boulder, taking their opponents by surprise. It took just one big push before the rock lurched and began to roll back down the hill.

  ‘HOLD IT!’ screamed Snark. But his team-mates had scattered in panic. Snark pelted down the hill, with the speeding boulder giving chase.

  ‘DAD!’ he squawked. ‘HEEEELP!’

  Next moment the boulder caught up with him, carrying him down the slope like a spider stuck to a giant snowball. Over and over, faster and faster, it rolled, crashing between the boneposts and heading on towards the river.

  ‘BOULDER!’ roared the crowd over the noise of the mighty splash.

  Iggy dusted off his hands. It had been a long time coming, but it was definitely worth the wait.

  .

  Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Berlin and New York

  First published in Great Britain in September 2010 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  36 Soho Square, London, W1D 3QY

  Text copyright © Alan MacDonald 2010

  Illustrations copyright © Mark Beech 2010

  The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted

  This electronic edition published in September 2010 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

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  ISBN 978 1 4088 1184 9

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